AdverseE

www.vortexeffect.com

People tell me that I am the funniest person they've ever met. I have the sneaking suspicion that they say this same thing to everybody they ever meet that ever told a joke. I don't like to tell jokes, in fact, I'm really bad at telling them. I'm more of a "really funny guy that you overheard talking to somebody waiting in line at the movies" type of funny. Or maybe I'm more like "really annoying guy who said 1 thing that was funny during the movie and then when people laughed, decided that it was time to showcase his talents for the entire movie and ruin it for everyone" type of funny. Or maybe you just don't care. And maybe I don't either. I am married to a wonderful woman who is intelligent, funny and tattooed. I am obssessed with all kinds of music and yet, can't dance. I like reading books that I forget two seconds after I've finished them, throwing frisbee to my 3 Boston terriers and playing with my 3 year old daughter. In my spare time, I wipe all surfaces with a dry cloth to remove my prints. No one can ever know I was here. I can identify the celebrity voice work done in commercials correctly after only 10 seconds. I am an encyclopediac reference for all things relating to television, movies and music. I feel like I am creative, imaginative person but somehow, declaring it seems to nullify it. Its like saying 'I'm cool." If you have to say it, you're not. So I take it all back. All except for 1st sentence. You can leave now.

Things that might hurt me, things that do hurt me and things that I believe will never hurt me but will. Also, books!

24, The Office, Battlestar Galactica, LOST, Veronica Mars, Heroes, Prison Break, Extras, Dexter

Way too many for me to list. Here's a few: Better Off Dead, Pulp Fiction, Donnie Darko, This is Spinal Tap, Best in Show, Fight Club, The Empire Strikes Back, Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Matrix, City of Lost Children, Office Space, O Brother, Where Art

Elvis Costello, Man or Astroman, The Cure, Cursive, The Magnetic Fields, The Mr. T Experience, The Good Life, Superchunk, The Decemberists, Ben Folds, Nine Inch Nails, Foo Fighters, Beck, Blur, The Smiths, Radiohead, The Wedding Present, The Pixies, Tori