"It's not mine!... but can i have it back anyway?"
Happy Birthday! :)
Posted 14 years agoDoctor to woman: We delivered your baby sucessfully, but there is something else... Woman: what is it? Doctor: Your baby is a hemaphrodite. Woman: A what? Doctor: basically its a person with both organs Woman: Oh my God! You mean he has a penis AND a brain?!
Posted 14 years ago"If life deals you a bad hand... cheat."
"When I think about what's worse for society, cigarettes, or porn, I think to myself "Damn, I need a drink.""
"GIVE a kid a smoke, and he'll be happy for a day. TEACH a kid to smoke, he'll be happy for a whole shortened lifetime."
"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car."
"Magnetism is one of the six fundamental forces of the universe, with the other five being gravity, duct tape, whining, remote control, and the force that pulls dogs toward the groins of strangers."
"I'm not suffering from laziness. I enjoy every minute of it."
hello.
Posted 14 years ago